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I am a writer, a mom, and a friend. In this blog, I explore all of that. Please join me in this conversation by leaving a comment on anything you've read. Or follow me on Facebook @ Beth von Behren (author).

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Things I Will Likely Never Do

Every morning on the way to work, I drive past a 30-foot tall photo of a woman in a beautiful, lacy wedding dress.  The photo is an advertisement for the bridal shop beneath.  The dress is the stuff dreams are made of, and at one time in my life, I aspired to those heights.  Today, as I drove past, it occurred to me that I will never wear that dress or any like it in this life time.  The time for frilly, gushing dresses is past.  Even if I were to remarry, it would likely be in blue jeans in Las Vegas or in a tank top on a Mexican beach.

This is not a bad or a sad thing.  I will never wear that dress because I really have no interest and because I am older and wiser and know that those funds would be better utilized sipping wine in a Parisian cafe.  But it got me thinking about all the other things I probably will never do now that I have reached a certain age (52).  Here is my list:

1) Go to medical school:  Clearly, I must accept at this point that I will never go to medical school. At one time, and actually for many years, I went back and forth about this:  Journalist or Doctor?  Doctor or Journalist?  Hmmm...I was still trying to decide at 30 and at 35.  That little I-really-don't-like-math-and-science-very-much problem kept getting in the way.  I think at this point I can cross medical school off my to-do list.

2) Visit Prague:  My friend Laurie has been to Prague, which I think is amazing and cool, but with so many places still on my "must visit" list, I just doubt that I will ever make it to Prague. 

3) Sing in a rock band.  This one is probably self-explanatory (I can't sing), but it remains every rockin' baby boomer's fantasy, doesn't it?

4) Skinny dip.  It's just never gonna happen, folks. 

5) Live in a house on the beach.  This one is still possible, but given all the natural disasters that befall beaches and coastal communities, my interest is waning.

6) Climb Mt. Everest.  I actually have never wanted to do this, but that shouldn't keep it off the list.

7) Meet my biological father.  I've pretty much given up on this, and it doesn't bother me at all.  I had a great Dad and a loving adopted family, and that is enough.

8) Win an Academy Award as Best Director.  Yeah, well, I wanted to be a filmmaker for years, and while I guess technically this is still possible, it is much more likely that one of my offspring will win an Oscar and provide me with my first ticket to the show.  And that's not a bad thing either.

9) Own a bookstore.  I have always dreamed of having a bookstore-cafe, with poetry readings and great music playing in the background, and only pizza, chocolate cake, and wine on the menu.  A girl can dream.

10) Read "Ulysses" or eat a snail.  See #4.

So that's my list.  Other items may occur from time to time, and I guess I may re-assess at 60 (which is why I didn't put skydiving on the list).  The good news is there are hundreds, if not thousands, of items left on my list of things I really have to try before I'm too old to think. But that is a post for another day.

So, what's on your list?


  1. I will never be an American Indian. When I was little I was determined to grow up to be an Indian, and I have since realized that can't happen. What a disappointment. I have always been interested in everything American Indian. I will have to settle to just read and learn about their ways and history. So being an Indian is on my list of things I will never do. Sadly.

  2. I recently had to come to terms with the fact that I will never go to Harvard or Berkley. It sounds silly, but it dawned on me that those two schools are probably out of my reach now that I have a child.